PlayonBlogs

NerdFluffyBunny

2008-06-25T10:06:00.000-07:00

This is not a movie review, it is just random silliness hosted on this site.

Atonement

2008-04-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Director and lead stare at the story as it spasmodically twitches on the floor and dies.

OK, we'll start with the pros. This movie is absolutely beautiful. The acting is mostly good and every shot is like a work of art. But then there is the story. Act one contained a good story, almost compelling if moody spoiled British aristocrats staring at each other in a maudlin passion is your thing. But then someone had the idea that this story should be an epic and it all went to bloody hell. Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, this movie is Band of Brothers meets gone with the Wind and nothing makes sense. How this movie got the attention it did this year is a not so much a mystery to me (people like the pretty pictures) but it is somewhat disappointing.

AUGUST RUSH

2008-04-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

I can hear my finger if I hold my cross!

Let's disregard the utterly unbelievable guitar whacking we were supposed to believe was music Let's set aside the fact that this movie is proof positive that people will only remember the last things they see. Here is the big secret -- this is a kids movie! The first hour of this film is a string of poorly acted, insincere and ill conceived plot points. The miracle of this film is that it ends on an emotionally resonant note with universal appeal. I reluctantly tip my hat to their achievement, but will not conceded that this is a good movie. But, all is well that ends well.

Oryx & Crake--A Haunting Experience

2008-03-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

Novels about a bleak and sorry future are quite common. . . and Margaret Atwood has written a number of them, but this book is different. It is not about the inconceivable future, the maybe future, or even the remote future. The setting is so very real and present. Every day I read, hear, or see something that is (not could be, but IS) the root of some element of the disturbing and horrific future of this story. Like Arthur Clarke's Childhood's End, Atwood presents the end of humanity as we know ourselves to be. But unlike Clarke, this vision is bleak, wrought from the mind of a single individual embedded deep in the power structures of corporate life . . . in a way that is too possible, too evident.

I couldn't put the book down and I can't forget it. Only once before have I been so haunted by a book. As disturbed as I am by it, I would not trade away the insight Atwood offers into the nature of humanity under advanced capitalism and the symptoms of a dying empire.

Five stars and then some for this book, but beware, you'll look at the world around you in a wholly different way.

Posted by Sam Noir and Sarah Dennison

3:10 to Yuma (1957)

2008-03-18T18:01:00.001-07:00

I can stare at shadows harder than you can, Pardner!

As westerns go, this one is an interesting character study and a tribute to holding fast to ones' values. There is a point where the family man has the prisoner in his home for dinner and his son asks the mother if they are going to say grace before the meal, (since there is a bad man joining them). The mother calmly explains that "grace is for everyone." Which is pretty much the point of the movie.

LORD OF WAR

2008-03-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

What guns?
OK. So apparently war is bad. Really! Like, who knew? And apparently, to make it worse, if you, like, make war easier to happen, you are somehow responsible. How could that be? I mean, I had no idea, so luckily this move came along to enlighten me. I mean, what movie does not get better when you layer in a heavy handed moral message? Well done Hollywood. I am convinced that gun runners everywhere are stewing in deep remorse with nothing to console them except their extreme wealth.

DAN IN REAL LIFE

2008-03-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

You made a poop joke -- so clever!

Real life is great. Unfortunately movies are made because real life is rarely as compelling as fiction. In real life, Dan is appealingly flawed, but so is the script - sans appeal. There is a nice build in the beginning with Dan and his daughters, but the film gets lost straddling the line between themes of 1) recovering from loss, 2)dealing with family and 3)being a romantic comedy. As we all know, when you mix anything with romantic comedy you get drivel. In this case the chemistry between Stevio and Juliette is like warm milk aftertaste. Dan would probably have been an interesting character if he only had to carry a single story.

EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED

2008-03-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

Pardon me, have you seen my seeing eye bitch?

If you are like me you will see this movie as an endless feast of scenes filled with visual metaphor, lines of dialog with subtext, clever work play and a 70s style male emotional journey. If so, then this premium movie is for you. (Alright, the end of the movie was a little jumbled) If you are more concrete than I, then a movie synopsis with a familiar ring to it is as follows: this movie is basically about a myopic and obtuse Frodo who goes on a road trip confront the legacy of the evil Sauro-nazi.

EXTRAS : :Last Episode

2008-03-13T19:28:00.001-07:00

Yes. We are having a laugh.

How do you end a show who's depth of wit and awkwardness is unparalleled? You top it with a 90 minute commentary on all that is wrong with American values. The scene where RJ talks about reality TV and holds the viewers accountable is exquisite. The ending was only and best ending there could be. Well done.

SEMI-PRO

2008-02-29T15:23:00.000-08:00

Jackie Moon (Ferrell): one-hit-wonder of the hit song, Love me Sexy.

Yes, I saw this in the theater. The "Semi" of Semi-Pro refers to its comedic stance. It gets lost trying to be a semi-comedy, a semi-70's structure film and a semi-sports flick. Tremendous comedy cast in a film which never really hits its stride.

Vantage Point--A Good Idea . . . But

2008-02-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

Ahh, such promise. Sigourney Weaver, Dennis Quaid, Forest Whitaker . . . questioning how point of view affects our sense of reality, especially in life's most dramatic moments? Who could lose with these elements all together?

Well, Vantage Point does. By the end, it's just a downright silly film. . . where Dennis Quaid delivers the line, "Mr. President, I've got you." And after a ten minute high speed race, the action ends just seven blocks from the starting point . . . suspend disbelief, suspend disbelief. When you find yourself saying "suspend disbelief" over and over again, well, you know you are in trouble. Yes, you are . . . and so is the film.

It's always sad to see a film with such potential, fail so utterly. Ahh, such promise. . . such promise.

Posted by Sam Noir and Sarah Dennison

BALLS OF FURY

2008-02-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

What part of sudden death don't you understand?

OK, I admit it, I liked this movie! I hang my head in shame. What appears to have been a Jack Black vehicle which never got its driver worked for me. Maybe it was the Def Leppard songs, or the string of amusing cameos. Maybe it was the deadpan delivery of so many inappropriate moments. When Christopher Walkin, clad in Elton John style Chinese emperor garb speaks his first line, "Okie Dokie Artichokee", it felt like home.

There will be Blood . . . and Music

2008-02-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

It's a western to sure. But it doesn't have good guys and bad guys. Instead it is a character driven film that has grit and reality. In the first few sequences, you know what it felt like to be a prospector deep in the bowels of the earth. The only sound is the crunch and puncture of a pick axe fruitlessly chiseling away in the hopes of finding a little gold or silver ore.

This film would be good but a little tedious if it weren't for the music by Philip Glass. No melodramatic high pitches, no predictable foreshadowing of the next thing to come. The music does not drive the action. No, it illustrates each moment, each scene, each human experience. Especially poignant is the experience of sudden and permanent deafness after oil swells unexpectedly from the ground in a great black gusher. Glass' music mimics the isolated sound of the soul in a body that no longer has the distraction of birds and wind and idle gossip to distract. It's haunting. Like no other film I've seen, this film is made compelling by the unforgettable, yet un-hummable music.

It's an Upton Sinclair story from beginning to end--unrelenting in its direct gaze on the imperfections of the human character. A steely tale, an unforgiving narration of one man's journey through greed and love and doing the best he knows how to do. I give this film high marks for its resistance to the traditional narrative arc, to sentiment, to the easy way out. It's only weakness lies in the performance of Paul Dano--a young pup who couldn't pull off the layers required for a disingenuous, but nearly sincere, evangelical preacher. Forgive the film this one poor performance, and you'll enjoy the rare experience of a film that is about human beings as we know them.

Review by Sam Noir and Sarah M. Dennison

PORTAL

2008-02-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

(Part of the "Orange Box")

Peer into the nearly perfect game concept.

19 levels of simple, clear, snarky, challenging, mind churning fun. Remember to think in 3 dimensions or this wonderful game will hurt your wittle head. Portal is massively underrated - play it and be transported. Play the entire game; it's worth it.

This is possibly the most perfectest game ever.
Note: if you get stuck on level 19, have a seat. I can say no more...

WINTER PASSING

2008-02-09T15:46:00.000-08:00

Watches like a
morphine
drip.

Great actors playing delightful roles. Not much in the way of crazy stuff like plot or pathos. Ferrell plays a new kind of idiot, ego-less and much more endearing. Zooey is the every-girl of sadness - her dysfunctions play genuinely plausible. Ed Harris plays, well an eccentric older dude, as usual. Nice movie for feeling like your own life ain't so bad.

2008-02-06T07:12:00.001-08:00

2008-02-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

Like a rotting strawberry...

Waaaaay across the yawniverse. This has got to be the most self indulgent piece of film I have ever seen. Barely a music video, the first half hour featured a girls singing while approaching the camera as football players sprung into the air around her, then a singer approaching the camera as bowlers bowled all around him. I like the Beatles, but this was like enduring a prekindergarten's poetry recital.

2008-02-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

Would you prepared if gravity reversed itself?

REAL GENIUS
Holds up well. Great one liners. Stock 80s characters. Refreshingly absurd. Val Kilmer basically walks through the move dropping Groucho Marx lines.

2008-02-01T09:46:00.000-08:00

Classic.

Futurama: Bender's Big Score
Funny, funny and funny. Laugh out loud. Nibbler rides up on his mighty hamster steed, then dismounts and eats it. Chocked full of call backs to the series; the lucky clover, the abandoned dog, all the old cast. Great opening which thinly lampoons Fox for canceling the show. Overall, not the most compelling story, lots of time travel shenanigans, but enjoyable all the way through.

2008-02-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

Boston Legal: Season 1

Spade and Shatner, swimming with Snarks.

Inconsistently great. The older cast is brilliant, the young and "cute" cast are ultimately distracting. James Spader (best role ever) is ultimately compelling as the man who will do or say anything.

2008-01-30T07:00:00.000-08:00

Molly and Pencil, Pencil is cute. Pencil dies. I should care, but I don't; which, in an odd way, makes me sad.

YEAR OF THE DOG
Title says it all. Good actors, story wanders all over the place, never connects with the audience. I kept getting excited by a new actor or plot point, but they never delivered anything satisfying, insightful or rewarding.

2008-01-29T21:19:00.000-08:00

The alien races all have well defined quirks and enjoyable traits.

MASS EFFECT
Played it all the way through. Now I want to play it through again. Solid world building, GENUINELY compelling character moments, ethical choices and of course, plenty of ways to shoot at things. Patience and tenacity are constantly rewarded in this well conceived science fiction drama. Note: A few annoying quirks include many of the menu controls, the inability to upgrade the MAKO vehicle and the fact that you are locked into your 2 of 8 character away team for most of the missions.

2008-01-29T12:26:00.001-08:00

THE BIG CHILL

For those of us who were hit with the Breakfast Club right in the heart of our teen years, it's time to embrace the emotional sequel. (which came out before the teen BC, B.C.- B.C. as it were).

If you are over 30, you must (re)watch this chronicle of the flaw which hamstrings all who pursue grand ambition and lofty goals. In the end, we are all only human.

2008-01-28T18:13:00.001-08:00

[As Comic Book Guy] Best. Movie. Ever.

THE SIMPSON'S MOVIE
Saw it twice. Funny and energizing act one, OK act two, ends cliche'edly well. Oddly touching was the scene where Marge leaves Homer a Dear John taped over their wedding video - it felt right. Additionally, this is one of the few main stream movies that can contain a message without losing focus.

2008-01-28T12:19:00.001-08:00

THE DARWIN AWARDS
Recipe for this movie.
Step One: Take the first 10 minutes of Magnolia and multiply by nine
Step Two: Add a Hemophobic ex-detective/cop/actuary for quirky character, mix in Winona Ryder side-kick
Step Three: Let sit for 1.5 hours, consume quickly before the novelty wears off

Raise your hand if you know how to make a visual effect!

2008-01-28T12:19:00.000-08:00

2008-01-21T21:44:00.000-08:00

THE MATADOR

Watches like a stage play. A few good twists, some great acting, but not very strong as a movie. Shoots for a level which is misses. Worth watching if your Netflix queue is out of "A" list material.

. Acting is the art of staring at something very hard.

2008-01-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

Jessica whispers the word "story" to Dane, unfortunately Dominoes delivery distracts him from this critical bit-o-wisdom.

GOOD LUCK CHUCK
Schlock-tastic! Derivative. Painful. 15 minutes into Good Luck Shmuck my brain imploded and leaked into my latte. Hey, maybe the next movie I see will be the perfect movie... just like the premise of this movie and... and... no, that would be ridiculous.

2008-01-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

MISS POTTER
Setting A+. It could have been a good movie, but insisted it was a biography and therefore chose to follow events rather than the story. Will they ever learn? On the positive side, it did inspire me to address everyone super-ultra-formally from now on. "Mr. or Miss Dear Reader, good day!"

2008-01-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

		REIGN OVER ME
		Stage-playish. A bit heavy handed, tries to sound-track you into feeling a certain way, but the characters unfold nicely. The scene where Sandler kisses his mother in law on the cheek got me.

Sandler and Cheadle play Shadow of the Colossus.
Finally a melodrama specifically fixated on boring video games!

2008-01-20T17:03:00.000-08:00

SUPERBAD
John Hughes scoot over! A compelling portrait of modern male friendships and (female sponsored) fears. Under the grotesque language, some genuinely bittersweet pathos.

Is that a Mickey-head on Jonah's manly pectoral?

2008-01-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

THE WATER HORSE
Mixed bag. Great monster movement, beautiful location, patchwork story with holes you could swim a Loch Ness monster through. Made me want to go around all day using a ridiculously exaggerated Scottish accent. "It lukes lyke eh wuhtur horse, Could'na be!"

Worst conjoined-twin movie ever.

2008-01-17T22:17:00.000-08:00

Lost: Season 3

Find the red herring, the red herring...

First half kind of dull, second half was some of the best this show has to offer.